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The Neighborhood Wife

Summary É E-book, or Kindle E-pub ☆ Martha Heineman Pieper

Uilt into us is the pursuit of happiness As a child unfortunately through inappropriate discipline for appropriately aged behaviour and values we associate our feelings of unhappiness with what makes our parents and authority figures happy Children being mirrors or imitators simply take it in Thus our happiness can be not only linked to appropriate things but also things that make us unhappy In fact we hang on to painful things memories and feelings simply because they are familiar and give us supposed comfortThis book is not any old self help book but rooted in research and years of practical experiences I found the book really uite helpful Someone recommended this book to me so I was a little surprised that I got so little out of it Perhaps I didn t find much value in it because I am not addicted to unhappiness so I could not relate to what the author was talking aboutThis book seems to say that people whose life circumstances are good are only unhappy because they have some unconscious desire to make themselves unhappy This unconscious desire is something that comes from a confusion between happiness and unhappiness that dates back to childhood According to this book a lot of people had unhappy feelings as a child that were the result of bad parenting But since we believe that our parents love us and are perfect we also strive to continue to have those unhappy feelings that we had as a child As a result as adults we sabotage our opportunities to be happyI think this is probably true but this seems like such a simplistic and watered down explanation of human psychology that it is not all that worthwhile The book does provide a ton of examples so there may be some value in the examples if you think the authors correctly analyzed what was going on with their patients But I think a better word for what the authors are talking about is a neurotic complex or the concept of toxic shame that is explained in books by Pia Mellody and John BradshawThis book makes it sound like it s obvious what people need to do to be happy and the only reason people are unhappy is that they are not choosing to do these things But different people find happiness in different ways and for many people I don t think it s obvious at what they should doingi will say what they should be doingI will say though There do seem to be a lot of people who appear to spend all of their waking hours complaining without any obvious ustification It does seem like there are uite a few people who would be absolutely miserable if they had nothing to complain about So I guess those are the type of people that this book is about. Rom their clinical experience the authors provide insights and effective strategies that will help you choose and maintain the happiness you deserveRUNNING TIME ➼ 6hrs and 59mins©2019 Martha Heineman Pieper PhD P2019 Martha Heineman Pieper Ph. ,

Se books for me Anthony Storr s Solitude and Jonathan Heidt s Happiness Hypothesis to reach the kind of objectivity needed to do what this book suggests Still several sensible insights It works after you don t need it so badly Fascinating book so far Has some really good advice not only for raising children but also pertains to problems that adults have that may have manifested as a result of things that happened in their childhood We all know parents are not perfect but it is important to analyze our behaviors examining the past closely so that we can better understand ourselves and our loved ones around us With a better understanding of the role that discipline love and parenting that our parents gave us we can see our behaviors in a objective way and try to better ourselves for future generations The book is based on years of research However it is a relatively easy and fast read because of all of the examples that the authors use to illustrate their points So far it s a good and very informative read I had never thought of any of this before I do not believe this is completely true for all people But I do think it has relevance in most people s lives If nothing else it is very informative on what others think I voluntarily read and reviewed this book in exchange for a free copy I m not sure I unreservedly buy into the central thesis which is that when children aren t treated optimally they mistake the resulting negative feelings for happiness because to their minds it s what their perfect parents intend for them to feel and must thus be an ideal state According to this theory adults their perfect parents intend for them to feel and must thus be an ideal state According to this theory adults end up addicted to the unhappiness they felt as children and consistently act in ways that sabotage their true happiness to bring themselves back to a state of unhappiness which to their unconscious minds euals happiness because it s the state they experienced as small children with their parentsAnyway It s an intriguing theory even if I felt like there was a certain degree of oversimplification it is a layperson directed self help book after all It certainly does make sense in a way and whether or not it s literally true I don t see how such a subjective *Theory Could Be Declared Definitely * could be declared definitely or untrue anyway it seems like it could be a very helpful and productive way for people to look at stubborn behavior patterns and vague chronic dissatisfaction with life At the very least I think it s a useful thought experiment The authors are claiming that we can be addicted to unhappiness in the sense that we need it in our lives The idea is really not that crazy because in Ntial to live fulfilled lives but many of us find it difficult to realize that potential Best selling authors Martha and William Pieper will help you understand how you unknowingly became an addict to unhappiness Using real life examples drawn ,
Reading this was alright but I don t think i will read this book than once i Tell Me About Eternity just don t agree with the whole bookthere were parts I liked and excerpts i enjoyed and that I will put in myournal but that s about it The premise was not anywhere close to what I was thinking this book was headed towards It ust didn t float my boat An Interesting Premise Explored with Depth and BreadthI enjoy nonfiction and therefore I read a lot of it In these days where self publishing is such a boon allowing authors who would never have been published by a traditional house to sell their own books too often nonfiction books are seemingly slapped together from a variety of web sources rather than coming from of web sources rather than coming from author s personal experience or expertise So I was delighted to find this book to be one of greater depth and breadth than I typically see The premise of the book is that our unhappiness which manifests in a variety of ways from depression to excess weight stems from the way we were parented and that we have accepted a certain reality based on this unconsciously It is this invisible aspect that makes the cycle hard to break The book is split two parts first exploring how this paradigm is set up And Then Looking At then looking you can break the pattern I don t necessarily buy that this affects everyone though it may to greater and lesser degrees I really liked that this got me thinking about my own background If you re tired of self help books that don t seem to have much substance and you want to attempt to get to the core of any unhappiness that you may have you may find this book to be of helpI received a free copy of this book but that did not affect my reviewMy book blog Although I agree that people can make a habit out of being unhappy and thinking negative thoughts I am not sure I buy into the fact that the unhappiness we experience now is because of childhood experiences and the past relationships with our parents Or at least not to the extent the author believes I very much appreciated what I learned from this book and that I need to examine my life for areas where I am satisfied with being unhappy I ve come to live with things that are very wrong but I don t do anything to address them because I accept them as normalUnfortunately the solutions to solving these issues always involve intentional focused hard work There are no shortcuts But realizing there is a problem is the first step and always leads to some improvement So that s the good news Builds on attachment theory The harder work on figuring out your emotional makeup is better done wrangling other inten. Are you unable to follow through on important resolutions Are you frustrated or inefficient at work Is your love life unrewarding or filled with conflict Are you plagued by unpleasant emotions for no apparent reasonEveryone is born with the pote. Addicted to Unhappiness

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